In March 2010 my dad passed away. This loss rocked my world. It was a complete shock. Having already done the math, acknowledging the length of his parents’ lifetimes, I thought he would be around for much, much longer. I imagined at least another twenty years with my dad around to revel in the glory of his legacy: my children and my sister’s children. Theoretically, I’d like to think that I could accept death as a part of the process of life. We’re all going to die someday, right? It didn’t work that way for me. I felt lost. I didn’t know how to move on. I felt as if the safety net that had so tenderly, yet fiercely cradled me for all of my life had been dropped, and I fell out. My mom was left holding her part of the net and I, like Humpty Dumpty who came before me, was broken open and scattered in pieces on the ground.
The beauty in all of it (and I really wanted to be the girl who finds the beauty in the face of loss), was that I got to put the pieces back together. I am putting the pieces together. I wonder what to keep and what to let go of because it no longer serves me. As I sift through these pieces, I find that many parts of me have been scattered for some time. And some of them were essential! So, thank you Dad, for forcing me to shift my focus from mom-of-three to mom-of-three and me.
So on this journey, where one might expect to seek answers from outside sources, I have found that everything I need is already present. Every answer already exists in me. Do you have any idea how exciting that is? It’s true for you too. It is beautiful and it is our gift. We are our gift.
This is what I share here: my journey. This blog is about my voyage to a place where I fully trust that all my answers are within and where everything is in harmony – mind, body, and spirit. This is my new Hat Trick.